It always seems like I'm writing about MOPS or my depression. Today the topic is MOPS.

The whole "mediation" process we have been doing since the beginning of May seems to almost be done. I had a few meetings with Sigi and one with Carla. The meeting with Carla did not go well and was very hard. I really just wanted to quit. It's just too much. But as I kept praying for the Lord to release me from this whole thing, the release would never come. So I had more conversations and more meetings. This whole thing has taken up so much of my time and energy it's exhausting.

So it comes time to see if I want to be involved. I really do if things are different. If certain people are not in certain leadership positions. I will be coordinator. I would love to do it, but I really need to keep praying that my heart is not doing it for selfish reasons, that I'm doing it because the Lord wants me to. If I am coordinator that puts us back into being a two ministry family again. Can we handle that? While lots of things have changed and Walter and I have grown, there is still the whole thing of being involved in so many things. There is also the question of me going and getting another job. Working from home just isn't for me. I'm finding that I'm not disciplined enough. There are a million other things that I want to do besides work - even if it's working from home. We could really use the money if I worked. It would just help us get ahead, but there is also the side that says being with my kids is most important. So we have to decide if I will continue to stay home and during that time help lead MOPS. It will be with much prayer that we decide.