My mom called me today to give me some interesting news. She said that my dad has finally admitted that he is an alcoholic and is going through the detox part this weekend. The Doctor told him that the worst part would be the first 5 days, after that a lot of the symptoms will ease.
It's funny because I've known since Jr high that my dad had a drinking problem. That is one of the main reasons I do not have more than one "adult" beverage at a time. I know that I'm one step away from making that choice. Walter and I have prayed for my dad many, many times. We pray that alcohol would become disgusting to him, we've prayed that someone would come into his life and show him his need. The sad truth is that I haven't prayed for this in a long time. I had just given up hope that things would ever change, but today I have found that hope again. I have to believe that the Lord still cares and that he still hears my prayers.
I remember a time when I was a freshman in high school. My mom told me that she was going to leave unless my dad quit drinking. He quit for a few days but went right back to drinking. I remember thinking that my dad didn't love us enough to stop drinking. Mom didn't leave and dad continued his habit of zoning out each night.
Dad was never a mean drunk, he never abused us physically, he just wasn't "there" for us. Forget having a meaningful conversation with him after 7:30 at night.
At the age of 34, I'm now looking forward to getting to know my dad. I don't feel I really have ever gotten that chance, the cloud of alcohol has always been in the way. I pray that he is strong enough to ask for help and to seek it if he needs to. I pray that he will come face to face with himself and realize that he is a wonderful person.
I'm so excited about the possibility that my children will now know their Grandfather. With Walter's parents having passed away, my parents are the only grandparents that they will know this side of heaven. Won't it be wonderful to have the presence of their grandfather in their life, not the shell of the man that I grew up knowing. Hopefully my kids will grow up knowing that their grandfather loves them more than he loves the bottle of booze and that memories of their time spent together will be remembered by both of them.
As I cry for the high school girl who couldn't understand that it wasn't about love, it was about a outside force controlling her dad, as I cry for all the family get togethers that have been ruined by alcohol, as I cry for my brother and sister who are heading down the same path as my father, but think that they have it under control - I cry out of sorrow for all the losses. But I also cry for joy that my dad took this major step, not only admitting to my mom, but his doctors as well. I can say that I'm proud of him....so very proud.
And although I might not be able to tell you this face to face, Dad, until we are able to share a visit - I love you and I'm proud of you and thank you for taking steps to change. Thank you from Walter, me and the kids.
It's funny because I've known since Jr high that my dad had a drinking problem. That is one of the main reasons I do not have more than one "adult" beverage at a time. I know that I'm one step away from making that choice. Walter and I have prayed for my dad many, many times. We pray that alcohol would become disgusting to him, we've prayed that someone would come into his life and show him his need. The sad truth is that I haven't prayed for this in a long time. I had just given up hope that things would ever change, but today I have found that hope again. I have to believe that the Lord still cares and that he still hears my prayers.
I remember a time when I was a freshman in high school. My mom told me that she was going to leave unless my dad quit drinking. He quit for a few days but went right back to drinking. I remember thinking that my dad didn't love us enough to stop drinking. Mom didn't leave and dad continued his habit of zoning out each night.
Dad was never a mean drunk, he never abused us physically, he just wasn't "there" for us. Forget having a meaningful conversation with him after 7:30 at night.
At the age of 34, I'm now looking forward to getting to know my dad. I don't feel I really have ever gotten that chance, the cloud of alcohol has always been in the way. I pray that he is strong enough to ask for help and to seek it if he needs to. I pray that he will come face to face with himself and realize that he is a wonderful person.
I'm so excited about the possibility that my children will now know their Grandfather. With Walter's parents having passed away, my parents are the only grandparents that they will know this side of heaven. Won't it be wonderful to have the presence of their grandfather in their life, not the shell of the man that I grew up knowing. Hopefully my kids will grow up knowing that their grandfather loves them more than he loves the bottle of booze and that memories of their time spent together will be remembered by both of them.
As I cry for the high school girl who couldn't understand that it wasn't about love, it was about a outside force controlling her dad, as I cry for all the family get togethers that have been ruined by alcohol, as I cry for my brother and sister who are heading down the same path as my father, but think that they have it under control - I cry out of sorrow for all the losses. But I also cry for joy that my dad took this major step, not only admitting to my mom, but his doctors as well. I can say that I'm proud of him....so very proud.
And although I might not be able to tell you this face to face, Dad, until we are able to share a visit - I love you and I'm proud of you and thank you for taking steps to change. Thank you from Walter, me and the kids.
posted by Stacy at 9:53 PM
2 Comments:
Wow, Stacy. I hope and pray your dad has the strength to overcome this. I can only imagine how much it would mean to you & your family. He'll be in my prayers.
Stacy, I will keep your Dad in my prayers. My uncle (my Dad's only brother) started drinking after their Mom & Dad passed away when they (my Dad & uncle) were in their early 20's. He was an alcoholic the entire time I knew him. It was so hard. My Dad finally was able to get him into treatment, and my uncle just celebrated year 10 of being sober. It's a wonderful thing, and I finally feel like I know my *real* uncle.
I wish you and your family the best. The treatment process can be hard, especially when they do the family sessions - but it's all worth it.
Take care!
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