I had probably one of the best visits with my mom this past week. I guess I finally feel comfortable with who I am, who my family is (Walter and the kids) and I don't need her approval quite as much as I used to. It has been kind of cool to become a peer with my mom. It's also wonderful to she her as a grandma. She is the coolest Grandma I know. She's young so she can do things, she's helpful, and she just loves being with her grandkids. She also knows to let me be Mom to Ben and Becca and that although she might not agree, she respects what we are doing. She doesn't always do that with my sister and nephew.

I was a lazy bum this week and didn't get to the gym. Monday is a new day and hopefully Becca will stay healthy and all week I can go. I really love doing our "circuit training", but I hate cardio! I keep going and the whole time while I'm on the treadmill or bike that I'm moving more than if I would be sitting at home. I challenge myself to go just a little bit further. I really want to do the 5K in July. Hopefully I can reach that goal and do it.

MOPS Bitches....

What a awfully un-Christian title. But you know, that is exactly how I feel. They are taking something that should be good and making it to be about themselves. What makes me so sad is how my attitude is so poor about it. I'm thinking that maybe I need to take a step back so that I don't have anger or bitterness about Carla and Crystal.

I wonder what exactly is going to happen. How sad is it that 4 or 5 members of the church are walking away from something because of poor leadership. I think poor leadership is happening because they lack spiritual depth, one doesn't go to church on a regular basis and the other one doesn't want things about Christ shared because then her friends might actually know what she believes. Being in ministry isn't some place where a person should hide what they believe.

I guess I need to just leave it all at the feet of God. I think he wants me out of the way so that he can fix it, not so that I can pridefully say "I told you so" or "See, I knew that's what needed to be done"

Tomorrow R & J (our ex-pastor and wife) are moving from the big 'Ville. It's very sad and I feel like there are so many unresolved things surrounding this whole big ugly situation. I have a sinking feeling that R & T (the other woman) are going to run off together. I asked Walter tonight how long it's going to take before we heal from this huge affair/betrayal/loss of friendship/loss of pastor/etc? It's been a year since the affair started and it is still something that comes to our thoughts and discussions so often. I guess it's because all of our lives were so wrapped up in each others. I just want to cry. You would think that as time goes on it would ease, but with this weekend being a ending in a way it's just so sad. Whoever thought that our once-beloved pastor would sneak off into the night out of town - unrepentant and so far from God?

Why do women have to be so bitchy? I was talking to Jill this morning and she told me about the MOPS Steering team meeting last night. There are three women on this team that wants it to be all about them. They don't care what anyone else wants. Carla also always quotes "MOPS International says....." Who gives a flying leap about MOPS international? It's all about what is happening here in Susanville and what is going on at CEFC. I'm hoping and praying that things work out so that Carla and Crystal leave MOPS. Carla wants things catered to her. She also thinks that she's the "Truth" detector when she's the one who is always stretching and not telling the whole truth.

I'm trying to be "mature" in how to handle this. Hopefully maybe Rick will talk to Jill and Jen so that he will know and maybe step in and really manage what is going on. Time will tell. I do know that if certain people stay apart of MOPS in a big leadership position I will NOT be attending anymore.